Would You Still Get Married If…
In the Egyptian culture, marriage is a big thing. If you’re over 21 and not married, people start looking at you differently, like there’s something wrong with you -especially after you reach “a certain age.”
As soon as you graduate from college, prepare yourself for the lingering question of “so00, is there someone special in your life?” Anyone and everyone asks this question -and the closer you are to 30, the more torture you need to endure. Hurry up, the metaphorical train is leaving the station! Your biological clock is ticking! Momma wants some grandkids to play with on weekends!
People are trying to remedy this stigma to show others that it’s okay not to get married early on, or even at all. Heck, I try my best to advocate that it’s okay to not have kids. Live and let live.
But, of course, such efforts are taken down every day with society’s mentality, particularly when a group of idiot “marketeers” decide to make the problem worse, like with the recent “are you a spinster?”
ad campaign fuck up.
Anyway, what people can’t seem to understand is that this stigma results in people getting married too young and too fast, with a completely unrealistic view of what marriage is like. Mothers drastically search through an array of potential wives for their sons and seal the deal in record time -hell, I think I have flour that’s been in my cabinet longer than some wives have known their husbands.
Nobody stops to consider what a fucking big deal it is to share your bed with someone. Nobody stops to consider how things are magnified when you live with somebody. If you’re annoyed by the fact that he chews with his mouth open, then be prepared to be annoyed three times a day, every freakin’ day of your life. It doesn’t mean you should leave him, but just brace yourself and know what to expect. It’s not rocket science.
What prompted me to write this is that, from my humble observations, some people like to get married for the wrong reasons: fear of becoming a “spinster,” getting approval from society, running away from dad’s house, wanting freedom, posting a tacky cover photo on Facebook, having sexual intercourse…the list goes on and on and on, but the reasons are oftentimes never related to love or even common sense.
So, here’s a list of some thought-provoking questions…
Would you still get married if you knew you wouldn’t wear a big white dress?
Would you still get married if you knew you could move out and live by yourself?
Would you still get married if you weren’t allowed to brag about it or even mention it to your friends?
Would you still get married if you wouldn’t get a set of fancy wedding pictures to post online?
Would you still get married if you weren’t allowed to share anything about the big day on social media?
Would you still get married if you knew nobody would ever judge you for being single?
Would you still get married if people didn’t judge you for just casually dating?
Would you still get married if there wasn’t a social and religious stigma on pre-marital sex?
The bottom line is: would you still get married if you didn’t have any of the societal perks that come along with it?
No proposal pictures, no wedding pictures, no congratulatory comments, no massive amount of likes, no societal approval, no parental approval -if we removed all these benefits, would you still get married?
When it comes down to just you and your partner…
Are you happy?
I don’t know about you, but these are the types of questions I will ask myself if I ever get married. I’ll have to check in with myself and make sure I’m not just desperately wishing to move out, or merely satisfying a need for companionship.
I think you need to be able to look your partner in the eye and say you’d still want to be with them even if they had nothing, even if they declared bankruptcy or even if they got sick.
And, if you’re lucky, maybe they will be able to look you in the eye and say the same to you.