Egypt: The Place Where Logic Comes to Die
You never really get used to living in Egypt, even if you’ve lived here your entire life. The country never ceases to surprise you -both in good and bad ways.
One of the bad ways this country is bound to surprise you is the fact that Egypt is the place where logic comes to die. That being said, it seems that logic has been pretty suicidal lately.
I usually deal with these logic-defying situations by ranting excessively on social media, but the time has come for me to compile them in one place. That way, I can visit said place once every month or so and cry in a fetal position. Feel free to do the same.
So, why is Egypt the place where logic comes to die? Allow me to explain via my 4 point presentation:
1. The Sexual Harassment Myth Has Been Debunked
I used to think sexual harassment was partly due to sexual repression. Not that I’m justifying it; harassers need to get kicked in the nuts -it’s a fact of life.
But I felt like men outgrew the concept of harassment after they got married (aka. after they got laid). It made some sense to me; the sexually repressed guy who isn’t getting any and doesn’t have an internet connection to watch porn is trying to find the worst and cheapest possible way to rid himself of his animalistic urges: sexual harassment.
So, yeah, he’s a pig. He actually isn’t even worthy of being called a pig; he’s simply non-existent. But my naive little mind felt like his disgusting behavior would end once he..well, once he got some.
My poor little bubble violently burst one day while I was going to the dentist. A man in the street harassed me and it was the first time for a harassment incident to render me speechless. I say that because -as you can probably already tell- I am the kind of person who usually has a lot to say.
See, the man was with his wife.
And he was carrying his son.
So, not only was he married; he was actually carrying living proof that he was getting some.
I stared at his wife in shock, and all she could do was look at me apologetically and mumble an apology.
*Splat* went my poor little naive bubble. It was like logic had put a gun to its head. So, yeah, pigs are pigs -even when they have sex.
2. Tamer Amin
Speaking of sexual harassment, a girl at Cairo University was harassed a while ago on campus by a group of students. They ganged up on her, formed a circle and tried to tear off her clothes. Thankfully, she was able to flee and hide in a bathroom until security escorted her outside.
People were -naturally- outraged at how unsafe the country has become. If you get harassed on campus, you can count on getting raped in the streets. It’s over. We should all just stay home forever.
Now, first off, she was wearing completely normal clothes. Second of all, even if she had gone out completely naked, it still does not give anyone the right to lay a hand on her or even verbally harass her. I don’t think it’s fair that a man gets to wear whatever the fuck he pleases while us women are forced to check our clothes in the mirror a million times before going out to make sure our asses don’t look too grab-able.
People like Tamer Amin are only reinforcing the twisted idea that it is the girl’s fault. After thousands of initiatives aimed at sexual harassment awareness, this little prick had to show up on TV and fuck it all up.
Logic put itself in a bathtub and threw in a fucking microwave. The result? Tamer -Asshole- Amin.
Moving on, another thing that causes us to scratch our heads in dismay is how Egyptians respond to traffic. Picture the ring road at a standstill. Nobody is moving. Everyone is angry and late to their destinations.
The road starts moving rather slowly. Hopeful feet cautiously press on gas pedals.
The culprit turns out to be an accident on the side of the road. What do people do? They slow down. They SLOW DOWN and slow down traffic with them just to stare blankly at the accident.
They don’t even stop to help. They just stare at the accident and wonder how much the damage will cost.
Here’s an idea: why don’t you speed up, fuck off and say a little prayer for the people involved in the accident? The roads will move, ambulances will probably get there faster and you won’t be an idiot. It’s a win-win situation.
Don’t make logic slit its wrists. I beg of you.
PS. In this category, you can also include:
a) People who drive slowly on the left lane
b) People who panic when they’re driving and it rains
c) People who use a signal to tell you they’re going in one direction and then go in the opposite direction
d) Female drivers
4. The Movie Dilemma
Egypt has banned the movie “Noah” from showing in theaters. In a completely unrelated topic, a new movie starring busty Haifa Wahby is going to show in theaters soon. I’m not sure what the movie is about, but I believe its teaser says it all.
Judging from said teaser, the movie is about boobs, asses and more boobs. The actual trailer gives me the idea that it involves Haifa having sex with a minor.
Great priorities, Egypt. Softcore porn is fine, but a great Russell Crowe movie is what may harm the eyes of the “innocent” masses. What the fuck is wrong with you?
RIP, logic. You will be missed.