Why Cairo wants you to get fat (Part 4)

When I decided to write a series of posts discussing why I think Cairo is trying to make us all fat, I thought I’d write three posts max. The surprise was that I kept getting inspired and faced with the daily challenge of trying not to get fat in a city that is trying to get me fat by sheer force.

It was strange. It’s like the more I concentrated and focused on the matter, the clearer I could see just what could happen to me if I surrendered to what the city wants.

Image: eatpraylosegirl.blogspot.com

Image: eatpraylosegirl.blogspot.com

In my last post I decided to talk about how the streets of Cairo want to make you fat. What I’m about to discuss in this post could have been incorporated in that last post, but I felt like I wanted to give it extra attention.

Traffic.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, traffic not only makes you stressed, pissed, late and tired, but it is also contributing to making you fat. I realized this when I started working and could no longer find the time to go to the gym.

As I mentioned before, I live in Maadi and work in Heliopolis, and even though it should probably take about 20 minutes for me to reach Heliopolis, it takes me an hour or an hour and a half. It takes more time if there’s an accident or if the police decide to kill some time by checking out how people look in the pictures on their drivers’ licenses.

Moreover, it may take up to three hours to go back home after work. After it happened to me twice, I swore off driving at 5 pm and simply opt for sitting and having coffee until all the other Egyptians go home. All God-knows-how-many-million of them.

Because of that, there is no longer time to go to the gym. I already wake up at 7.30 -which is a challenge as it is. So I can’t wake up at 6 to go work out and then emerge from the gym a refreshed, working woman. If you’re one of those people who feels energetic after a workout, I don’t like you and I don’t trust you.

I have to admit I’m a bit jealous of people who manage to go the gym before work. I have always had this fantasy of waking up before sunrise and making myself one of those awful green smoothies. Then I’d go to the gym and work out like there’s no tomorrow and then shower and automatically look fabulous. I’d go to work in heels and accessories and makeup and everything. I like to fantasize about things that I know will never happen.

If you’re an optimist, you probably want to tell me that nothing is impossible. But I can assure you that it is impossible, because no matter how early I sleep, I ALWAYS wake up looking like this:

Image: giphy.com

Image: giphy.com

And I can’t go after work either. I’m already completely burned out when the day ends. I don’t want to die on a treadmill. I don’t want to be one of these people.

Image: funnyjunk.com

Image: funnyjunk.com

Image: washingtonpost.com

Image: washingtonpost.com

Image: funnyjunk.com

Image: funnyjunk.com

(I have no idea why the girl in the first picture was running in heels, but I think it’s hilarious.)

And because I work now, I have started to really appreciate the weekends. So, naturally, I don’t want to sacrifice my weekends perspiring and hyperventilating. I want to spend my weekends like this:

Image: giphy.com

Image: giphy.com

Basically, I can make the time if I really really want to exercise and if I really don’t care about having a social life. But traffic is a huge factor. If the traffic problem was solved then we could all probably save hundreds of hours a year. We could probably have the time to read more, adopt hobbies or even fix our shitty political situation.

Can you imagine if every single Egyptian spent the time they used to spend in traffic at the gym? The entire country would consist of supermodels. Idiot supermodels, but at least they’d count as eye candy.

What would you do if you could spend the time wasted in traffic doing something else? Let’s fantasize! I’m curious.

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