Dear Microbus Drivers,

1. Your horn should only be used when needed (like if you are about to crash), not every two seconds. Don’t you ever get a headache?

2. When you post religious phrases all over your bus but still sexually harass females, you’re giving a bit of a mixed signal. Drop one.

3. Driving in zig-zag patterns is not considered driving.

4. Your bus looks like an angry, nosy shark. There’s really no insightful point here; I’m just pointing it out.

5. Driving with your headlights off at night, coming up behind me and suddenly turning on your headlights will not make me move faster; it will just give me a heart attack. I will die. You will then crash into my car’s debris and die, too. Turn your fucking lights on.

6. But if you blind me with your lights then the same scenario will repeat itself and we will both end up dead again. You only operate in extremes, don’t you?

7. If you’re going to be an asshole, I will cut you off in traffic and you will have to live the rest of your life knowing that a young girl managed to drive better than you. You will never sleep again. Your penis will fall off.

8. When you drive in the wrong lane or decide to drive full-speed in the wrong direction, know that I am praying to God that your wife pee in your dinner.

9. If you drive in the wrong lane, attempt to cut me off and then get pissed that I didn’t allow it, I will hurt you.

10. Stop killing people. That’s the government’s job.

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